You try to politely remind the others that your owed. You push against fate, to achieve what you set out to do. Sometimes, you push too hard or cease to care if you're polite.
One of the hardest parts isn't the pushing or keeping yourself polite. Its stopping yourself and realizing that it just needs to be counted as a loss, so you can move on. A lesson learned about trusting too much or jumping in with no plan. You have to decide how upset you are at the other person, but also what you'll do when the next offer comes into play. When your faced with another chance to dive into something new, you have the knowledge of past experience to help you plan your actions better this time.
Years ago, I saw the play 'Into the Woods'. At the end of the first act, you assume everything has been made right in the world. Evil was defeated, good won and love, well it triumphed.
And then the second act starts and you see the after effects of their actions. The stories behind the 'Happily Ever After'. Life is far from perfect. Why? Because they entered into agreements too swiftly, pushed and forced fate to so what they wanted, and now must face the consequences of their actions.
In the song at the end of the first act, the people talk about what you have to do when 'going into the woods.'
Company: To be happy, and forever, You must see your wish come true.
Don't be careful, don't be clever.
When you see your wish, pursue.
It's a dangerous endeavor,
But the only thing to do--
[in three groups: round]
Though it's fearful,
Though it's deep, though it's dark,
And though you may lose the path,
Though you may encounter wolves,
You mustn't stop,
You mustn't swerve,
You mustn't ponder,
You have to act!
When you know your wish,
If you want your wish,
You can have your wish,
But you can't just wish--
No, to get your wish
You go into the woods.
---Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim
As you read, they don't bother to think, just act. Its about getting it done at any cost... And in doing so, they didn't bother to count the cost. Now, read how they did viewed the end after a second round of all this.
Company [in three groups: round]: Though it's fearful, Though it's deep, though it's dark And though you may lose the path, Though you may encounter wolves, You can't just act, You have to listen. you can't just act, You have to think. Though it's dark, There are always wolves, There are always spells, There are always beans, Or a giant dwells there. [unison] So into the woods you go again, You have to every now and then. Into the woods, no telling when, Be ready for the journey. Into the woods, but not too fast or what you wish, you lose at last. Into the woods, but mind the past. Into the woods, but mind the future. Into the woods, but not to stray, Or tempt the wolf, or steal from the giant-- The way is dark, The light is dim, But now there's you, me, her, and him. The chances look small, The choices look grim, But everything you learn there Will help when you return there.Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim
This time, they understand that counting the costs is vital to moving forward. Each one had to come to grips with accepting a loss, based on their previous encounters with the woods. They have been forced to see the consequences of their actions.
When we act without thinking or asking questions, we're doing the same thing they did the first time around. We're pushing, jumping and working hard to make something happen, that might not be the answer or the right thing. The keys to our futures lie not in those actions, but rather in how we react to them. Some repeat their mistakes over and over, never catching onto the problems. Others deal cut themselves off and instead have to be nearly forced into similar situations. Neither of these are wrong, but finding a balance of trust/strength is part of what those 'trips into the woods' are about.
You could miss out on the moment where it all works, if you let yourself get sucked into the bad over and over, or refuse to let yourself take the risk.
When you come face to face the times in the woods that don't work out, how do you accept the loss?